Every Minute, Every Hour....

This weekend has had such ups and downs. My grandparents continue to deteriorate, so my brother Josh decided to come up from the states this weekend to see them, to say goodbye, just in case. What we didn't know was that he was bringing my little nephew! When I found him at my parent's house Friday night it was such a lovely surprise!
We all went to Claresholm on Saturday, which was so upsetting. It's been about a month since I've seen them (because of the chicken pox) and I was shocked at how thin and broken they both looked. It was so horrible going between the hospital and the care facility, my heart broke a hundred times over each time I looked at them, each time my grandpa said he was ready to go, each time my grandma looked confused or hurt, every minute I could feel it, with each hug and kiss goodbye. My heart broke with love for them, it broke for my mother, it broke because they were both so sick, and had to live apart from each other. I thought in my last days, last hours, last minutes, the only thing I would want is to be with the people I love. Their health has denied them that.
When we were getting ready to leave and drive gramps back to the hospital the car was full, so I offered to walk from the senior's home and meet everyone downtown. As I walked my mind was just burning and a storm was rolling in with a huge dark sky and thunder everywhere... that's how I felt inside, too. As we started back on the highway home the sky broke and poured torrential rain, I felt a bump on my shoulder and looked down to find the little guy had fallen asleep leaning against me. The sky opened up, my heart burst with frustration and love for the little guy and my family and I took a picture with my camera phone for a little perspective. I have to keep it together. I have to keep my family alright.
I guess I just wanted to say "tell your family that you love them." They need to know. They deserve to know.
Love,
~g~