Am I A Bad Mommy?
As I mentioned, I'm dog and cat sitting for my parents while they gallivant around San Francisco going to protest marches and Telegraph Hill and watching the nephew dance while awaiting public transit.
I'm discovering, though, that I'm not a very good mommy. I may have, in fact, given Belal two breakfasts this morning. Then this evening I was bustling around feeding the kitties, giving Belal his medicine, etc and I figured I'd accomplished everything, so I sat on the couch with my laptop. Belal walked up to the couch, made firm eye contact with me and stared me down. "What, sweet pea?" I said.
*death stare*
"What do you need, baby?"
*death stare*
"Are you okay?"
*stare, stare, stare*
"...Belal?"
*staaaaaare*
"okay, don't freak out," I think. "Belal, what's wrong???"
I stare at him.
He stares back, as if to say "you're forgetting some vital part of my maintenance", as if he's willing me to read his mind.
I try.
I fail.
I fed him, walked him, gave him fresh water, medicine with a chaser of cheese.... what what WHAT?
Still he stares me down. STARES me down with a persistent, expectant glare in his big brown eyes. I lean my face in close to his, and he doesn't even try to lick my nose... he.... just.... stares. At which point the panic hits and I start to sob.... Oh god, is he breathing normally? did I do everything right? my mum is gonna kill me!!! Should I call my brother??? OH MY GOD!!! *sob* "BEEEELAL! WHAT'S WRONGGGGG?" after a minute that SEEMS like 4 hours, he finally jumps up onto the couch with me and lets me dry my tears on his golden coat. I really can't take the pressure. I'm 100% certain that I did everything I was supposed to do with him, and I'm sure he's just wondering what I've done with mum and dad. He's probably aware that I'm a nervous wreck in this big old house on my own, taking care of HIM, my mother's pride and joy, and is possibly using fear tactics to get me to give him large cubes of cheese and let him sleep on the bed with me. ... well, he's winning. I'm DONE, Belal, do you hear me??? You've won!!!! Love, ~g~
I'm discovering, though, that I'm not a very good mommy. I may have, in fact, given Belal two breakfasts this morning. Then this evening I was bustling around feeding the kitties, giving Belal his medicine, etc and I figured I'd accomplished everything, so I sat on the couch with my laptop. Belal walked up to the couch, made firm eye contact with me and stared me down. "What, sweet pea?" I said.
*death stare*
"What do you need, baby?"
*death stare*
"Are you okay?"
*stare, stare, stare*
"...Belal?"
*staaaaaare*
"okay, don't freak out," I think. "Belal, what's wrong???"
I stare at him.
He stares back, as if to say "you're forgetting some vital part of my maintenance", as if he's willing me to read his mind.
I try.
I fail.
I fed him, walked him, gave him fresh water, medicine with a chaser of cheese.... what what WHAT?
Still he stares me down. STARES me down with a persistent, expectant glare in his big brown eyes. I lean my face in close to his, and he doesn't even try to lick my nose... he.... just.... stares. At which point the panic hits and I start to sob.... Oh god, is he breathing normally? did I do everything right? my mum is gonna kill me!!! Should I call my brother??? OH MY GOD!!! *sob* "BEEEELAL! WHAT'S WRONGGGGG?" after a minute that SEEMS like 4 hours, he finally jumps up onto the couch with me and lets me dry my tears on his golden coat. I really can't take the pressure. I'm 100% certain that I did everything I was supposed to do with him, and I'm sure he's just wondering what I've done with mum and dad. He's probably aware that I'm a nervous wreck in this big old house on my own, taking care of HIM, my mother's pride and joy, and is possibly using fear tactics to get me to give him large cubes of cheese and let him sleep on the bed with me. ... well, he's winning. I'm DONE, Belal, do you hear me??? You've won!!!! Love, ~g~
posted by Apartment Girl at 4:22 PM
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