Getting To Know Me, Getting To Know All About Me!

One interesting thing about being under extreme amounts of stress is that I’m learning a lot about myself. I’m approaching it like a science project, because it’s somehow easier to externalize and watch the carnage at a safe distance. So, from behind glass, here are My Stages of Stress (thus far.)

Stage 1: Overcompensation
This is the first stage of stress, where I’m starting to worry, but imagine that if I “just work harder” that somehow, everything will be okay. So I work and work and work.

Stage 2: Panic-Mode
This is the stage where I start to get surly and snap at people who (I imagine) are impeding my progress.

Stage 3: The Hair Stage
At this point (as one of my friends noticed) I get a hair-cut/colour. No, I don’t know why…

Stage 4: Constantly on the Verge of Tears
This is the stage when I cry all the time… about anything… and everything.

Stage 5: Everything is Hilarious
At this point I can still be on the verge of tears, but everything seems so funny at the same time. I alternate between tears and giggling.

Stage 6: Research
I break out of the teary/giggly stage and become determined that I can FIND the ANSWERS to EVERYTHING. I take a lot of notes and make a lot of lists. I also seem to gain the ability to connect everything to Harry Potter or The X-Files, thus giving Harry Potter and The X-Files Divine Status in my mind… The Truth is Out There.

Stage 7: Paralysis
I get really sleepy and can’t seem to do anything at all, like laundry or getting out of bed or being productive at work. I’m tired. I also get really hypocritical at this point. Like I’m lonely, but I don’t want company. Or I ask for advice and get angry when people give it to me. I also forget everything at this stage… How do I boil water??? What’s my email password??? How do I spell my name???

Stage 8: Insomnia
I am sooo tired, but I can't fall asleep, and then when I DO fall asleep, I can't stay asleep. I also get REALLY angry because I'm so tired. I yell at important people, like my boss. It's safest at this point to just watch X-Files all!the!time! and not speak to anyone, or look at anyone, or try to sleep at all.

I've been at Stage 8 all weekend, so we'll see what comes next. The realtor is coming to list my condo on Wednesday, and then I'm up to Edmonton for work on Thursday... and... ummm... I guess I'm moving to Nova Scotia this summer... and becoming a certified yoga instructor in June... If the chest pains stop... the chest pains will stop, right?

Love,

Uber-Stressed G.