The "If" Game
I must be feeling a little lost lately because I bought a copy of Oprah's magazine which promised to "help you find the real you", and because I've been playing the "If" game all!the!time!!! You know the game... "If" this happened, and then this happened, and then all the stars aligned, THIS would be the outcome and I'd be truly happy. This game is sort of self-sabotage, I think. The stars will only align if I make them, and I will only be truly happy if I embrace the happiness in my life...
and yet....
IF my parents have their house evaluated, and IF it's worth a million dollars, and IF they move out to Vancouver Island, THEN I will quit my job, sell my condo, move to San Francisco to become a certified yoga instructor, and teach yoga on Vancouver Island... thus aligning the stars and becoming truly happy. Because? Because it's not Calgary. It's not Accounting. I'd be totally zen all!the!time!!! I dunno why I don't just quit my job and sell my condo and go be a certified yoga instructor, without the "ifs"... well, yes I guess I'm scared, and that's why. I've worked so hard to become a stable, independent, saucy, capable young woman!!! I own property! I have an okay job with kick-ass benefits! But then part of me goes "mm-hmm? now you've proven you can do it, get on with what you really WANT."
but what do I want???
WHAT DO I WANT?!?!?
... if you know, gimme a call.
Love,
~g~
and yet....
IF my parents have their house evaluated, and IF it's worth a million dollars, and IF they move out to Vancouver Island, THEN I will quit my job, sell my condo, move to San Francisco to become a certified yoga instructor, and teach yoga on Vancouver Island... thus aligning the stars and becoming truly happy. Because? Because it's not Calgary. It's not Accounting. I'd be totally zen all!the!time!!! I dunno why I don't just quit my job and sell my condo and go be a certified yoga instructor, without the "ifs"... well, yes I guess I'm scared, and that's why. I've worked so hard to become a stable, independent, saucy, capable young woman!!! I own property! I have an okay job with kick-ass benefits! But then part of me goes "mm-hmm? now you've proven you can do it, get on with what you really WANT."
but what do I want???
WHAT DO I WANT?!?!?
... if you know, gimme a call.
Love,
~g~
posted by Apartment Girl at 7:26 PM
1 Comments:
Sounds kind of like the game I play with myself. I like my job, the people are great, but I feel like there's something MORE that I'm missing. And whatever that MORE is, I need it. A sense of fullfillment or accomplishment or something. I don't know. So when all else fails, get a book. There's a book that I saw when I picked Nathan up yesterday, whose title I don't remember, but it was something along the lines of "Choose the Right Career for your Personality Type". Sounds intriguing. I'll let you know if it's any good. Maybe we can both break the mould together!
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