Just.... STOP TURNING.... for five minutes!!!

For the past few years I've had this feeling like if I could only stop the world turning for five minutes that maybe, just maybe, I could get my head on straight. You get out of university and into the real world, and suddenly there are decisions to make. And sometimes we all make the wrong decisions, and I promise I have made many (what on EARTH possessed me to try to move to Vancouver???). But it seems to me that each day the world spins a little bit faster, and clarity seems to disappear a little more, and then out of no where you've lost your grip entirely, and you wonder what happened.

I've been talking to women I know about this. About looking at your life and feeling at a loss. Thinking "how did I get so far off track from where I thought I'd be?" I'm relieved to find I'm not alone, and that women of all ages, all backgrounds, all different situations are feeling the same way as me. Why don't we speak out? What do we expect of ourselves? Will we ever be satisfied? We're all smart, successful, wonderful people... what stops us from seeing those qualities in ourselves?

When I talk to these women, nobody seems to know what they want, only what they don't want. The same thing over and over: "I don't want to be defined by my job." "I don't want this career path." "I don't want to go through life without having made a difference." "I don't want to waste my life being unhappy."

I know that these are also the things that I don't want, but in order to stop this cyclical torment, one must have direction. I'm starting a list of things that are important to me and I hope that this will be the start of something good. Lists, for me, mean order... the next best thing, since stopping the world doesn't seem to be working ;)

~g~