On Being a Hermit

Dude, it's been a weird weekend. I've been in some sort of anti-social vortex, and although I did socialize on Friday night and Saturday night, I still feel... weird. Do you ever get like that? Do you get into this weird space where you don't see anyone or speak to anyone (except on Facebook or MSN) and dwell in 500 square feet of your own little world, just packing and being and watching a dangerous (dangerous!!) amount of The X-Files? I've also been working on the new blog, and fixing my wireless network, and time has no meaning and the world is shimmery and strange.

I am a geek. I am really, really a geek. And I don't particularly care except that it's 8pm now and I've done a LOT today, but very little of it has been productive. And? ALL I want to do is watch more episodes of The X-Files. I have a problem. I know. But I'm not sure I care.

Hmmm, what else? I have a lot of packing to do. I have a grand total of 14 days of work left (YES!!!!) and am going to New Brunswick in two weeks (YES!!!!!) and San Francisco in four weeks!!! I have a lot of cookies in my house that I need to eat before then. That's pretty much it. I'm just geeking out and frankly, it's all good.

Hope everything is good with you guys!
G

... Because I MUST own these boots...

I got to work this morning and was sent home after an hour... I didn't argue because I am fairly useless and disgusting... stupid flu. Now I'm bundled up on the couch watching daytime television, and planning my trip to San Francisco! WOOHOO!

This trip is going to be tricky because I want to see so much, but I'll be doing Yoga six days a week, and I want to spend time with Josh, Susan and Caspian too! I'll probably stay an extra week after my class is done, and then I'll hopefully know my way around a little better so that I can dash off on journeys on my own. Like Target. I MUST!!! own these boots. But from what I can see, Target isn't exactly convenient to where I'll be living (by Fisherman's Wharf) or by Yoga school (On Folsom.) So that could by tricky. Luckily, the San Francisco Shopping Center is a little too close to Yoga School, and has most of the stores I plan to spend a fortune at. These include Victoria's Secret, Bath and Body Works, H&M, Bloomingdales and Borders. (I never intend to spend a fortune at Borders, but it inevitably happens whenever I go to the states. It's the Bookstore Vortex!) I can do this stuff on my own (or with Susan) so I don't have to drag a four year old around while I try on everything at H&M ;)

Aside from shopping, I have many touristy things I'd like to do, too! Such as:

- Pier 39

- San Francisco Botanical Garden

- Sutro Bath Ruins

These ones I'd like to see, but not sure I'll get the chance since they aren't convenient:

- Winchester Mystery House

- Jelly Belly Factory

- Berkeley

I'd also like to go see where Josh works, and of course hang out with them a lot and take lots of pictures :) Also, go to as many museums as I can. YAY! I am soooooo, SO excited about this. Have any of you been to San Fran? Is there anything else I should see while I'm there (June 2nd to July 5th, I think!) Let me know!!!

I'm also going to be starting a new blog for my San Francisco/Nova Scotia adventures. Any thoughts on what I should call it?

Lots of love,

G

Enter Fear, Stage Left

Well, I knew it would happen one of these days... This morning I woke up in a panic thinking "OHGOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!? WHAT AM I DOING?!?" I just quit my job and sold my condo and registered for a Yoga class in San Francisco. SERIOUSLY! OHMYGOD!!! What was I thinking?!? I'M GETTING OLD! I need to settle down and find a husband and this is SO NOT ME TO DO THIS! AUGH AUGH AUGH!!!!

Damn, how it just attacks like that. It's like a closet, really; Packed to the brim with all of the stuff you've shoved in there for five years. You open it just a crack to shove something else in there, but NO!!! Not today! Instead, five years of skeletons crashed down on your head. Curse it all. I wish I could go hide under the covers.

I know that I need a change, though, so why not make a big leap? San Francisco will be good, and after that? I guess we'll see! I'm going to keep in mind that being scared will get me nowhere, and use this poem as my inspiration:

To his Coy Mistress
by Andrew Marvell

Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness, lady, were no crime.
We would sit down and think which way
To walk, and pass our long love's day;
Thou by the Indian Ganges' side
Shouldst rubies find; I by the tide
Of Humber would complain. I would
Love you ten years before the Flood;
And you should, if you please, refuse
Till the conversion of the Jews.
My vegetable love should grow
Vaster than empires, and more slow.
An hundred years should go to praise
Thine eyes, and on thy forehead gaze;
Two hundred to adore each breast,
But thirty thousand to the rest;
An age at least to every part,
And the last age should show your heart.
For, lady, you deserve this state,
Nor would I love at lower rate.

But at my back I always hear
Time's winged chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.
Thy beauty shall no more be found,
Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound
My echoing song; then worms shall try
That long preserv'd virginity,
And your quaint honour turn to dust,
And into ashes all my lust.
The grave's a fine and private place,
But none I think do there embrace.

Now therefore, while the youthful hue
Sits on thy skin like morning dew,
And while thy willing soul transpires
At every pore with instant fires,
Now let us sport us while we may;
And now, like am'rous birds of prey,
Rather at once our time devour,
Than languish in his slow-chapp'd power.
Let us roll all our strength, and all
Our sweetness, up into one ball;A
nd tear our pleasures with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life.
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run.

Love,
G

Whirlwind!

Well, the first people through my condo put in an offer of Full Price, No Conditions, so of course I accepted. I'm diggin' that! My hair is blonde-er, but not by much. My stylist said it will fade in nicely, and it looks pretty... more honey-coloured, really. Lovely!

I did a major sort out of childhood possessions in my parents' basement this weekend, and they had a free-for-all today. I kept about 5 large bins of dolls and doll clothes (ashamed) but got rid of almost everything else (save a few shelves of favourite books.) It felt good, though, to give a lot of well-loved books and toys to neighbourhood kids. Two little guys who were about 10 years old were SO excited about a big box of Archie and MAD comics... It was like the motherload of treasure for them. So cute :) It was so much better than having a garage sale!!! I highly recommend it!!!

I'm quitting my job tomorrow (thank GOD!) and giving a month's notice, although a week of that I will be on vacation in New Brunswick. Well, that's about all for now!

Hope everyone is doing well!
G

Updates!

A few things have happened this week, so it's time for an update!

Monday night I bought a new laptop!!! It is all things beautiful and perfect, although heck if I know how to use it (Vista?! GAH!!! It's the antithesis of intuitive!!!)

I listed my condo on Wednesday night! EEP! It's sad, I've only been living here for 8 months, and I rather like it. It's my cozy home, but I know it's time for a change and I'll be sadder if I stay. I also sent my kitty to my parent's house *sigh* so it's pretty lonely here, but I don't want her to be scared by people coming on tours. The good news is that I will make a TON of money from this.

Thursday I got up reallllllly early (4am) to go to Edmonton for a work meeting. It was so painful, but made me realise how much I really hate my job. I am flooded with relief to know that I'm quitting in a week, and only working there for another month or so. It was a long day, and we ended up schmoozing over dinner and drinks, which frankly, pissed me off. Some of us girls found out that there's an H&M at West Edmonton Mall now, so we were flipping out, hoping to go there. The guys KNEW this, but kept ordering drinks and drinks and my boss was being a jerk about it. ROAR! I was really mad and tired (since I'd been up since 4am and it's freaking H&M!!!) At any rate, we didn't get to go, nor did we get back to the hotel till 10pm, so I was dragging and cranky. Then I woke up at 6am again, completely frozen and with a brutal sore throat. Then there was a torturous drive back to Calgary, where my loathing for THOSE PEOPLE only grew with my boss's taunting about going to the mall... jerk. I lost my voice (thank goodness) so I had an excuse to not talk AND (best of all) not go to back the office. Instead, I called the Yoga school as soon as I got home, and registered for the June session. Now I just have to buy a plane ticket!!! YAY! In just over a month I will be San Francisco doing Yoga six days a week, and then? Certified Yoga Instructor, people!!! I am SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!!

In a few hours I will be going back to my roots as part of my pursuit of a more Zen, boho-chic, simple lifestyle. I will be getting my hair stripped... I am going back to blonde. This will be interesting, but I trust my stylist and think she'll make me look good. It will be way less maintenance to just accept my blonde destiny... for now.

Alright, time for a nap before my hair appointment!!!
Love,
G

Getting To Know Me, Getting To Know All About Me!

One interesting thing about being under extreme amounts of stress is that I’m learning a lot about myself. I’m approaching it like a science project, because it’s somehow easier to externalize and watch the carnage at a safe distance. So, from behind glass, here are My Stages of Stress (thus far.)

Stage 1: Overcompensation
This is the first stage of stress, where I’m starting to worry, but imagine that if I “just work harder” that somehow, everything will be okay. So I work and work and work.

Stage 2: Panic-Mode
This is the stage where I start to get surly and snap at people who (I imagine) are impeding my progress.

Stage 3: The Hair Stage
At this point (as one of my friends noticed) I get a hair-cut/colour. No, I don’t know why…

Stage 4: Constantly on the Verge of Tears
This is the stage when I cry all the time… about anything… and everything.

Stage 5: Everything is Hilarious
At this point I can still be on the verge of tears, but everything seems so funny at the same time. I alternate between tears and giggling.

Stage 6: Research
I break out of the teary/giggly stage and become determined that I can FIND the ANSWERS to EVERYTHING. I take a lot of notes and make a lot of lists. I also seem to gain the ability to connect everything to Harry Potter or The X-Files, thus giving Harry Potter and The X-Files Divine Status in my mind… The Truth is Out There.

Stage 7: Paralysis
I get really sleepy and can’t seem to do anything at all, like laundry or getting out of bed or being productive at work. I’m tired. I also get really hypocritical at this point. Like I’m lonely, but I don’t want company. Or I ask for advice and get angry when people give it to me. I also forget everything at this stage… How do I boil water??? What’s my email password??? How do I spell my name???

Stage 8: Insomnia
I am sooo tired, but I can't fall asleep, and then when I DO fall asleep, I can't stay asleep. I also get REALLY angry because I'm so tired. I yell at important people, like my boss. It's safest at this point to just watch X-Files all!the!time! and not speak to anyone, or look at anyone, or try to sleep at all.

I've been at Stage 8 all weekend, so we'll see what comes next. The realtor is coming to list my condo on Wednesday, and then I'm up to Edmonton for work on Thursday... and... ummm... I guess I'm moving to Nova Scotia this summer... and becoming a certified yoga instructor in June... If the chest pains stop... the chest pains will stop, right?

Love,

Uber-Stressed G.